Not long now until I am off to Gran Canaria for some sun !!
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Monday, 11 June 2007
Some Great One Liners from Peter Kay
> 1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said
>Thyroid problem?'
>
>
>
> 2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
>Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and
>asked him to forgive me.
>
>
>
> 3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my
>wife to go swimming.
>
>
>
> 4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I
>don't get on with my real ladder.
>
>
>
> 5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'.
>So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
>
>
>
> 6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston
>Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened
>criminals.
>
>
>
> 7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different
>names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones
>may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From
>there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
>
>
>
> 8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is
>probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
>
>
>
> 9) Sex is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner,
>you better have a good hand.
>
>
>
> 10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My
>neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be
>enough.'
>
>
>
> 11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made
>out of meat?
>
>
>
> 12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all
>nervous and give the wrong answers.
>
>
>
> 13) You know that look women get when they want sex? No, me
>neither.
>
>
>
> 14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away
>from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
>
>
>
> 15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
>
>
>
> 16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I
>think I've forgotten this before
>
>
>
> PETER KAY'S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
>
>
>
> 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
>
>
>
> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
>
>
>
> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
>when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete
>stranger.
>
>
>
> 4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
>
>
>
>
> 5) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
>to have a fire in your back garden.
>
>
>
> 6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. .
>
>
>
> 7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
>
>
>
> 8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
>
>
>
> 9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill
>you at the first given opportunity.
>
>
>
> 10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed
>half way through and then raced against the flush.
>
>
>
> 11) It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
>
>
>
> 12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>
>
>
> 13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>
>
>
> 14) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>
>
>
> 15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
>had their arm broken by a swan.
>
>
>
> 16) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
>piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>
>
>
> 17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
>putting it in a fruit salad.
>
>
>
> SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY
>
>
>
> 1) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get
>undressed?
>
>
>
> 2) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way
>down to the core of the earth?
>
>
>
> 3) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>
>
>
> 4) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your
>bottom?
>
>
>
> 5) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing
>you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am ...
>
>
>
>
>Thyroid problem?'
>
>
>
> 2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
>Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and
>asked him to forgive me.
>
>
>
> 3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my
>wife to go swimming.
>
>
>
> 4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I
>don't get on with my real ladder.
>
>
>
> 5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'.
>So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
>
>
>
> 6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston
>Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened
>criminals.
>
>
>
> 7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different
>names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones
>may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From
>there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
>
>
>
> 8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is
>probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
>
>
>
> 9) Sex is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner,
>you better have a good hand.
>
>
>
> 10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My
>neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be
>enough.'
>
>
>
> 11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made
>out of meat?
>
>
>
> 12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all
>nervous and give the wrong answers.
>
>
>
> 13) You know that look women get when they want sex? No, me
>neither.
>
>
>
> 14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away
>from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
>
>
>
> 15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
>
>
>
> 16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I
>think I've forgotten this before
>
>
>
> PETER KAY'S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
>
>
>
> 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
>
>
>
> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
>
>
>
> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is
>when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete
>stranger.
>
>
>
> 4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
>
>
>
>
> 5) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not
>to have a fire in your back garden.
>
>
>
> 6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. .
>
>
>
> 7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
>
>
>
> 8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
>
>
>
> 9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill
>you at the first given opportunity.
>
>
>
> 10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed
>half way through and then raced against the flush.
>
>
>
> 11) It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
>
>
>
> 12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>
>
>
> 13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>
>
>
> 14) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>
>
>
> 15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
>had their arm broken by a swan.
>
>
>
> 16) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
>piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>
>
>
> 17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
>putting it in a fruit salad.
>
>
>
> SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY
>
>
>
> 1) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get
>undressed?
>
>
>
> 2) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way
>down to the core of the earth?
>
>
>
> 3) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>
>
>
> 4) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your
>bottom?
>
>
>
> 5) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing
>you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am ...
>
>
>
>
Thursday, 7 June 2007
Become a Damon's World featured member
Now you can become a Damon's World featured member.
Get more people looking at your photo and profile.
Every week the featured member will change to a new one. It's free so why not
fill in the little request on the site and become next weeks featured member.
Damon
Get more people looking at your photo and profile.
Every week the featured member will change to a new one. It's free so why not
fill in the little request on the site and become next weeks featured member.
Damon
Thursday, 31 May 2007
Hello Peeps
Sorry for not updating my blog recently. I forgot the password to access it, and it was driving me mad trying to get into it.
Anyway, I am back in it again now finally. I hope all is well with you.
Where has the summer gone? Here in the UK, the weather has been horrible recently, so wet. YUK !!! I need a holiday.
On Sunday 20th May, myself and my little mini took part in the famous London to Brighton Mini Run. It was great fun. Although because I have a new style BMW mini, I did feel a little bit out of place alongside the thousands of old classic mini's. Most of them had stickers in their back windows saying things like "100% BMW Free" and "A true true Brit, non of this German Shit"
Oh well nevermind, it was a good day out anyway.
If you fancy seeing photos from the day you can see the gallery at this link
http://www.london-to-brighton.co.uk/2007%20gallery/index.htm
Take a look at this cool video from the day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrN9jtE5Irs
My Car
Anyway, I am back in it again now finally. I hope all is well with you.
Where has the summer gone? Here in the UK, the weather has been horrible recently, so wet. YUK !!! I need a holiday.
On Sunday 20th May, myself and my little mini took part in the famous London to Brighton Mini Run. It was great fun. Although because I have a new style BMW mini, I did feel a little bit out of place alongside the thousands of old classic mini's. Most of them had stickers in their back windows saying things like "100% BMW Free" and "A true true Brit, non of this German Shit"
Oh well nevermind, it was a good day out anyway.
If you fancy seeing photos from the day you can see the gallery at this link
http://www.london-to-brighton.co.uk/2007%20gallery/index.htm
Take a look at this cool video from the day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrN9jtE5Irs
My Car
Thursday, 10 May 2007
Music while you surf
Over the next couple of days we are going to be introducing some music to the site.
So you can listen to some great tunes while you surf the net.
Over the next few months I will introduce more tunes for you to play.
If you dont want to listen to the music you dont have to. Its up to you.
Wednesday, 9 May 2007
A little Reminder !!!!!
Please note.
This web site is only for people above the age of 18. If you are under 18 we strongly recommend that you do not use this site in the future.
Thank you
Most Haunted Live
We had great fun last Saturday night in Bristol.
Some friends and I were lucky enough to get hold of some VIP tickets to Most Haunted Live in Bristol. For those of you who don't know what this is, its a live show on Living TV. Its a ghost hunt and investigation type thing. All good fun and really interesting.
So hello to everyone that we met over the weekend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
